Pacific archipelago nation whose main exports are tourism, coffee and all-blacks. After years of being ignored, annoyed western powers in the early 2000s by establishing significant trade deals with China, although not, as yet, inclusive of the export of all-blacks. In recent times, it has had spats with neighbours Fiji (over something nobody understood, but could be about who produced the more talented all-blacks), and Samoa (over the latter's proposed dateline time travel which would make Tonga's claim to be "the first country in the world to see dawn" something of a lie, and thereby hit one of the other main exports).
A generally friendly population who stopped eating people in the 1950s. They like fatty foods, dislike salad, and love gold (especially in teeth).
Monday, May 30, 2011
Saturday, May 21, 2011
New Zealand
Pacific archipelago nation, geographically isolated enough to probably survive global nuclear war. Struggling with its own identity, short of universal agreement that it's not "Aussie".
Natives prone to high-pitched understatement. National pastimes include drinking, shoving, and rugby. Won world cup 2011 (tm) to avoid 18th century style public executions of players and coaching staff. Makes funny films the rest of the world doesn't understand. Annual exchange programme sees half the population travel to Australia, to be replaced by British and Irish backpackers with no money but a passion for non-roadworthy 2nd hand cars. Still recovering from Lord of the Rings.
Natives prone to high-pitched understatement. National pastimes include drinking, shoving, and rugby. Won world cup 2011 (tm) to avoid 18th century style public executions of players and coaching staff. Makes funny films the rest of the world doesn't understand. Annual exchange programme sees half the population travel to Australia, to be replaced by British and Irish backpackers with no money but a passion for non-roadworthy 2nd hand cars. Still recovering from Lord of the Rings.
Australia
Racist island nation, peripheral, both geographically and emotionally. Struggling with its own identity, due largely to the relative newness of the country (as opposed to the former colonies). Prone to sporadic and generally short-lived dalliances with progressive socialist government, before reverting to right wing populist fundamentalism more south Texas than the south Pacific. In common with its American regular comrades-in-arms, it has a deep-rooted passion for sport the rest of the world doesn't understand or play. Climate as unpredictable as a traveller's wedding.
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