England

Repressed industrial wasteland off North Western Europe. Uncomfortable with being European, it has clung doggedly to singular identifiers such as the Royal family, the pound and a developing-world-esque class system. Institutionalised government distrust of its own people has resulted in the entire country being covered with CCTV. Monitoring of the footage has provided innumerable jobs for immigrants who are causing all the problems the cameras were installed to catch. Along with the French, indirectly responsible for every global 20th century civil war. Slow brewing its own for the 21st century.

Universally rubbish at all the sports it invented.