Paraguay

Land-locked South American country repeatedly thwarted in their attempts to snaffle a coastline. Most often by trying the long way through Bolivia and Peru. Not terribly famous or noteworthy for much at all, except playing football like Millwall.

Despite not being able to organise 16 bar staff to serve one pint in under 11 minutes, a group of Australians travelled half way round the world to Paraguay to set up an English-speaking (more or less) communist colony in the late 1800s. Noteworthy for being one of the world's first true attempts at Communism. By Australians. In Paraguay. Australians.

Colombia

Culturally and geographically diverse, coffee-rich South American cocaine factory struggling to impart to the world that it isn't as dangerous as everybody thinks. Largely because it is probably as dangerous as everybody thinks. Popular with dreadful American do-gooders who are not kidnapped by bandits anywhere near often enough.

Not as good at football as it should be. Good at shooting footballers who are not as good as they should be.